Should I go for a baby or not? {Women Stuff}

The reason why I am writing this post is because of a comment by one of the readers Nidhi. She wrote this -

hi Swati
i do not know whether my comment(question) would be apt here or not..but i would like to know ..is becoming a mother a good thing ?
i mean..i feel scared with all the responsibilities,pain,stretch marks,no time for self..and the list goes on.
my family is pressurising me and i do not know what is right ?
i love kids..may be am just scared of the responsibilities..but i want to know what good things happen after you become a mother (so that i can convince myself :)

First of all, any question or doubt you might have you can always speak of it so feel free to comment :) And, yes, thank you for putting up such a major issue. In fact, one of my colleagues is also going through the same phase.

She has been married for three years and now, the pressure from both sides of her family is impossible for hear to bear, in fact so much that she thinks it better to get a baby and relieved of the burden. But, the real wish was known when she suddenly started having her periods after a long spell and she shared with me how relieved she felt after that. Clearly, she is not mentally ready for it.

Now, to answer your question, I would ask another question. Do you think you are afraid of the responsibilities which come up with motherhood? Or, is it that you think its too soon and you would like to spend more time with your husband?

If its the first, the answer is obvious that you will never be "READY" for it. So, go ahead, plan a baby and with time, you will feel you have made the right decision. It will also help you to know many women do that and they never regret their decision :)

Now, the second alternative is a bit more complicated. It depends on how well you know your husband, how much of a relationship you share, how long you have been married, what were your aspirations and expectations with regards to your marriage. 

Essentially, if you have been married just for a year or your age is around 25 or less (not that I mean you should be pregnant if you hit 26!) or are a person who likes to take her own time to do everything in life, I would say wait for the right moment. In these cases, the intuition or the gut instinct of a person really helps. If you are that kinds, I would say it might do you good to wait.

So, Nidhi, the answer is that go to a gynaecologist and take a proper session with her about motherhood - the physical changes it demands from you, talk with your friends who might have kids (if you are first, I know how tough is that decision), talk to your husband, discuss all your fears and everything with him, know his mind and what he wants. 

Take time to decide but first know your own mind as to exactly what you want because ultimately its you who is going to bear the baby. I have also asked Punam to write something about it and incidentally she has the same story like yours so probably, you might be able to relate to her. The post should be coming in some days :)

And, to all your mothers and married ladies, what do you think about the most important decision in your life? Don't forget to comment and help out Nidhi :)

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